RHIAN SOCCER JOURNALS           

OLYMPIC  DREAMS AND SUPPORT         August 13th, 2012

It's hard to know where to start really: It has been a crazy week. I think that the last journal I wrote was immediately after the dramatic loss we suffered to the United States. Fortunately, I decided not to post it....sober second thoughts.

The hardest thing I have ever had to do in my athletic career was to recover from that semi final loss to the US. We have lost to the Americans before ...  once or twice... But, this loss was different. It think Diana Matheson encapsulated how we all felt afterwards, when she said the loss "hurt so much because we really believed the we were going to win this game. No matter what happened, no matter what calls didn't go our way, we firmly believed that we were going to come out on top." Lying on the ground after the final whistle, with nothing left in the tank, I couldn't believe that we had fallen short.

That night after the USA game, nobody slept, and the following day was a quiet one. Like most of the team, I stand firmly alongside my teammates and captain who have taken some flak about comments they made on the officiating. The majority of people have been understanding. They know our passion and after the game we were speaking passionately. When we have our dreams shattered and we talk about events passionately to television cameras and reporters, ...well,  you aren't always going to be politically correct.

I am probably the least emotional member of the team. The question even arose about whether or not I actually have tear ducts. In my interviews after the Game, I was physically unable to finish my replies to questions as I could not choke out the words.

I know my teammates better than anyone, and trust me when I say there are no better, kinder, thoughtful, genuine, fantastic and understanding people. But we all felt robbed.

After the interviews and fall-out from the United States game, we had a meeting. We spent time together sitting in a room letting our hurt and pain out of the way. We all knew that we had to move on if we were to compete against what we knew were a talented and formidable French team.

To move on and refocus was critical and we knew we would need every ounce of the energy we had remaining. We could not afford to waste any energy on regrets or anger. We had to avoid wasting time in thinking about threats of FIFA investigations and sanctions. All praise to Sincy in taking yet another mental hurdle in stride.

The match against the French was incredible. This was not because we played the best game of our lives. I think that anyone who watched the game would agree. In fact, we were utterly outplayed in the second half. However the incredulity is because we refused to lose. Of curse, the woodwork played a major part in our eventual victory, but even in our exhaustion we threw ourselves in the way of shots and tried to make runs off the ball.

The winning goal was scored by Diana Matheson in the 92 minute, and the goal  happened because our left back, Lauren Sesselmann, who had been thrown into left center back earlier in the tournament, had the guts, grit, and determination tol force her legs to make a run down the flank. She crossed the ball into the box where our three midfielders were all in scoring positions: ALL three of them had put their heads down and forced their legs to carry them there. Amazing.

When the goal went in, we all went nuts. Dreams do come true. I remember running towards Diana and wanting to lift her, but she didn't jump. Unfortunately, this meant that I ended up throwing her over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes, aided and abetted by Britt, Sincy and Chappie. The result was that our bronze medal hero's butt was the main focus of many photos - sorry D.

The French, our opponents in this match were a better team thna Canada on the night. We know, more than most, that soccer can be a cruel game and that losing out on an Olympics medal is shattering. They had also battled through their semi final game and they had been forced to dig deep and fight hard.

I was selected for dope testing with two of their players and I could not help but feel incredibly sorry for them. They are a great team and
we are going to have to continue to grow and improve if we want to stay at their level.

Mention has to be made of our staff and coaches too. They suffered with us every step of the way. They deserve to share the glory.

Since the final whistle blew, I have been on cloud 9. Everything has been a whirlwind. After the match, we drove directly to Wembley stadium in North London and enjoyed some pizza while watching an excellent final between USA and Japan.

Technically Japan were amazing and were great to watch. All credit to the Americans though who after an emotional and exhausting semi for them as well, managed to hang on and fight for their gold medal. Congratulations to them.

Standing on the podium in the middle of Wembley stadium felt surreal. I can't think of a better word for it. I remember standing up there and not quite believing that everything was happening and was real. This was the fulfillment of a wish which I had listed in things I wanted to accomplish in my life. When I wrote this, I was ten years old. I probably wont make the next item on the list - walking on the moon. However, that is just what winning the medal felt like. I cannot quite believe that my dream has come true.

Lastly, I have to mention a very large thank you to all the hundreds (perhaps thousands) of people who wrote on my website, through facebook, e-mail, the press and twitter. Their messages of support  and love in the darkest hours of the tournament were really appreciated by all of us. I reads every message!