RHIAN SOCCER JOURNALS           

REFLECTIONS ON A WORLD CUP & RENEWED COMMITMENTS       16th July 2011

During the 2011 FIFA Women's World Cup, I kept a journal which I  intended to publish on my website. As Canada's losses and problems in the tournament began to mount, I kept it to myself. The journal covers the days from our arrival in Berlin to our loss against France. I could not even bring myself to write anything about the final loss to Nigeria.

However, for me, writing involves an analysis of what happened and I find this process cathartic. It is a means to see what I believe happened, and it helps me to start afresh and renew my commitment to the team. 

With no wins in the FIFA Women's Word Cup and poor performances, we have to learn our lessons and put the experiences behind us. We have to come back stronger than before, physically and mentally. We have to get past the self-pity and past beating ourselves up. We need to refocus and take a break, and then get back to work. Players obviously lose confidence when they face such a disaster at a major championship. Players doubt themselves and their abilities. They lose motivation. We have to get past all this and renew our commitment and desire.

26th June 2011. Berlin: I woke up sore and angry on the morning after the match against Germany. As I thought back on  the game, it was not with any feelings of excitement or that we had done well against the World Champions. Rather I thought back with regret that we did not earn the tie against Germany, and possibly the victory. Many of our problems in the tournament can be traced back to this game.

We came out scared, and even though in the first half, we had some good chances and some good possession, we allowed the Germans too much time on the ball. Our forwards put in a good performance and they did a great job at coming back to help out the defenders. However, we defenders did not play our best.

The outside defenders were under huge amounts of pressure at times in the game. There was little relief, as the Germans are very good at getting numbers up around the ball. But, we did not step up to the ball early enough. I am frustrated that we allowed such a golden opportunity as this match to slip away from us. We just gave them too much respect. 

After the game Sincy headed straight to the hospital. I am no longer shocked by anything Sincy does. She is our leader and talisman. I think our doctor tried to convince her to come out of the game, but she was having none of it. She came back on and did not change her physical game one bit, even though she must have been in serious pain. She won herself and the team a free kick right outside the box and she curled it coolly and calmly into the top corner. I was not surprised. In practice when she does these things, I frequently yell out "that was just average." However, this free kick definitely deserves more praise. It was a better than average goal!

27^th June Bochum:  The flight to Bochum was a short one, but travel days always seem long. The effort involved in packing, taking buses to the airport, security, waiting for your flight to leave, delays, and then all the business of unpacking, checking in…. etc begins at the other end. The German liaison officers and helpers make things run smoothly, but everything always takes a long time.  

Once we arrived at our hotel we discovered that we were one of four teams staying here, including our French opponents. After the luxury of Berlin and being the only team accommodated in our hotel, Bochum was a bit of a let down. On the plus side though, the stadium is, literally, right next to the hotel.

When we arrived, the Japan versus New Zealand game had just finished and the streams of spectators mean that our bus had trouble getting to the hotel gates. It should be an interesting experience having to take a bus to the stadium on game day; it would certainly be faster to walk it. 

28^thJune Bochum We took the U-bahn into Bochum this morning, and we sought out our elusive Starbucks. Sincy was definitely the star attraction, not only because of her stellar performance against Germany, but also because her nose is all wrapped up. We took several photographs with local fans, the barristas from Starbucks, and with swarms of giggling, young girls. It is good to be recognized. We also managed to find a little something for Sophie’s birthday today. She turns 24 years old today.

The rest of the day was spent resting and preparing. Our afternoon session was late, as we have a *:45pm start coming up against France on the 30^th. The late start is good as the weather is stifling hot. The practice was a good one. Everyone looked sharp, energetic, and ready. We worked on pattern plays and different movements to get the ball up the field on the wings. We are planning on plenty of running. From the video tapes and analysis, France is a very good team, and we are definitely going to have to take all the positives we had from the German game and eliminate all the negatives, if we are to beat them.

29^th-June Bochum:  I slept really well last night. This is a good thing because it is the sleep that counts most before a game. The day before a game, is usually a very quiet one, and this one was no different. Nothing  happened at all, other than most people’s family and friends arrived here for tomorrow’s game. Our pre-game training at the stadium was a good one; everyone seemed relaxed and prepared. The stadium, although much smaller than the Berlin Olympic stadium, is great. It is small, but it has an intense atmosphere.

30^thJune Bochum: his morning was slow as we waited for game time to arrive. All morning we have watched people arriving for the event. Our window was open this morning so we heard the stadium staff going through their run through, and playing the national anthems.

We lost to France 0 - 4, and it was a total drubbing. We started the game well and played a strong first 20 minutes, but then the French scored a fortunate goal after a deflection. From then on, it was all downhill. We started to play scared. We panicked  and allowed them to come at us, instead of attacking them. The game was not even close.

I suppose that do not have to contend with, or suffer the pain from losing narrowly. Instead, we have to  to deal with the worse feelings of letting ourselves and our fans down. We failed utterly and completely.

We were all well aware of the momentum that we had been building behind us at home. Finally, women's soccer was on the front pages and in the news; people  in Canada were actually starting to care about the game. If we had done well in this tournament we could have generated some real buzz for ourselves and for our sport. Instead, we will fly home, heads down and have to find the courage to start rebuilding and returning pride and successful performances to the Canadian Women's National Team program. 

Apologies are a waste of time: Useless. The tournament is finished for us and we did not live up to our own, or others, expectations. We have no one to blame, no excuses, nobody and nothing to point a finger at. All the words were not translated into action, nor into results. We are going to have to take this blow firmly on the chin, face the music and all the other cliches that come with losing in sport. But they have to be real.

There will be enquires no doubt, and a hundred questions. How did this happen? Is there time to prepare and win the next big event: the Olympic Qualifying tournament in the Fall. The first step along this road is going to be how we perform in the game against Nigeria in Dresden.

I would like to say a bog thank you to everyone for their kind words and support over the past few days. We let ourselves down in not playing to our potential against both Germany and France. In sports, the outcome is never guaranteed and we know that we have let slip two great opportunities for success and recognition. We have appreciated the continued fan support, understanding  and kind words at home and in Germany.